As it happened, I was too late and only caught the last minute round-up of the evening news, but what I heard made me laugh. Not so much a laugh of merriment, but a wry, bitter laugh.
Seems no matter where you go or where you live, people don't like their home town (or county, state, territory or nation for that matter) being criticised - even when the criticism is accurate.
My home town it seems, is up in arms over its listing in a very popular tourist guide.
This is essentially what I heard...
"The tourism industry is jumping to Devonport's defence after a tourist guide's unflattering review.
The Lonely Planet website describes the north-west city as a "mildly menacing" place where speeding rednecks yell abuse at pedestrians.
It says Devonport is a place where people "imagine places elsewhere and more interesting" and where the "McDonald's drive-thru is the place to be on a Saturday night".
Daniel Hanna from the Tourism Industry Council has questioned the review's accuracy and credibility.
"I think that this is based either on a one-off experience or even second and third hand accounts," he said.
"I certainly commend Devonport in trying to take this on and prove the editors of Lonely Planet that they're wrong and that Devonport is open and friendly to visitors and does provide a good experience."
Ian Waller from the Cradle Coast Authority has told ABC Local Radio the Lonely Planet review did not reflect the feedback it is getting about Devonport.
The son of former Prime Minister, Joe Lyons, says his parents would have been appalled.
Peter Lyons says Devonport has always had its knockers and his parents would not have been happy with such a negative review..
"He'd have been appalled, both he and mum," he said.
"When he had to go to Canberra it was of course a matter of going by car to Burnie, by ship to Melbourne and then by train to Canberra so there was none of this flit over in an hour and a half.
"He used to get home as often as he could because it was a real haven for him."
But a local businessman has backed the criticism that keeping tourists there seems too great a challenge.
Restaurateur Tim Dyke says while some of the comments are unfair, he agrees the town struggles to sell itself to visitors.
"Devonport itself is just operated as a port city, I think, and never utilised its tourism potential."
"It seems to be a drop off point, where tourists who come in turn left and head straight to Launceston or turn right and head straight to Cradle [Mountain]," he said."
Source: http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/01/21/2797633.htm?site=idx-tas
Oh my.
I just had to see the listing for myself.
"Devonport is Tasmania's third-largest city, but it is much less interesting than Hobart and Launceston. The Spirit of Tasmania Bass Strait ferry arrives from Melbourne every morning (and evening in summer) sounding its huge air-horn thrice as it advances toward its Mersey River dock, whereupon it pirouettes 180 degrees before sailing off again. Locals line the riverbanks to watch, wave and hope that something bright, special and glamorous from the Australian mainland might stay here to cultivate and grow in Devonport - it's like a cargo cult. But keeping people here is a challenge too large, and they only ever come to leave again to other more interesting places.
Last updated: 21/01/2010"
(I notice that it has been updated to remove the bit about the Maccas drive-thru being "The place to be on a Saturday night.")
Source: http://www.lonelyplanet.com/australia/tasmania/devonportI cannot begin to impress upon you just how true the Lonely Planet listing is. Oh there's a minor bit of exaggeration - the young blokes hooning around in their cars are too wrapped up in trying to impress themselves, their mates and their bored-spitless but desperate-to-have-a-boyfriend-even-if-he-is-a-braindead-pillock girls with their hotted up Korean made cars and insanely loud stereos to hurl abuse at pedestrians - but otherwise, it is pretty much on the money.
This isn't a friendly and open accepting town. Oh, the people are friendly enough to be sure, but it is only on that surface level of not really considering any outsider to be worth being unfriendly to. And while it is not impossible over time to create your own little social niche and network here, an outsider is essentially (and always and forever) anyone who hasn't been here - and stayed here - since birth.
Attractions? Well they are, in all honesty, rather few. Outside of the river and the beaches, a couple of halfway decent pubs hopelessly spoiled by far too many gaming machines, and a fairly decent cinema, most of what Devonport has to offer are other places you can get to from it. Several gorgeous national parks that lie within a stone's throw come to mind. The highway out of it is another.
What Devonport offers up for accommodation is fairly meagre too. Unless you happen to like bed & breakfast style places (of which there are several very nicely appointed and maintained ones), your options are limitted to a couple of half-arsed hostels for backpackers, some rather dodgy motel style rooms attatched to a couple of the pubs, a "cosy cabins" site on the grounds of the old drive-in and the hideously ugly Gateway Motor Inn that, if I'm being generous, would have been only marginally in style in 1973.
Fine dining? I'd forget about that. Oh there are a couple of fairly decent higher end resteraunts (and by couple I mean two), the pub food and Indian resteraunt are pretty good, but other than that? Welcome to takeaway central. Useless bit of Devonport trivia for the day: after the tourist Mecca that is the Gold Coast south of Brisbane Devonport was the first town outside of a major capital city to have KFC, McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Hungry Jacks (A.K.A Burger King - long story), Dominos and Subway franchises. Why? Because per capita, the people of this fine town consume more takeaway food than any other city in Australia...including the capital cities.
Customer service? Uh. Sorry, but no. That is one of those new fangled things they do in foreign parts and is generally something that seems to be best left alone. Perhaps it is because locals don't have anywhere else to get their goods and services (and that the tourists don't hang around very long) the people behind the counters don't really feel the need to appear enthusiastic about earning a minimum wage by waving stuff over a machine that goes beep at them all day. Of course, if you engage them in a conversation about anything but their day, they'll be cheerful and friendly as the next person - but don't expect them to initiate the pleasant banter. They're too busy trying to deal with the beeping.
Inclusive and accepting? Buzzzzz! Fail! Well, that is unless by inclusive you mean pretty good with people who speak English and look like them. Anyone else is obviously not from these parts and should be either a) feared; b) mocked, or c) be confident they are only passing through and won't be marrying your sister, settling down and stealing your job. This last category can be dealt with with a patronising smile and/or loud, slow, exaggerated English with accompanying mime where deemed appropriate.
As a place to live and bring up kids, its not that bad. And as I said, once you've been here a while, the locals folk accept you've decided to stay around for a while, relax and open up a bit more. Once they do that, like small town people pretty much the world over, they're more than willing to help out wherever they can. Just be aware that also like small town people pretty much everywhere, gossip is the main game in town and nobody is beyond being subject of it. Other than that, if you are capable of surviving without great dollops of society and culture, its quite and relaxed, not too expensive, more than six cars at the traffic lights is considered a jam, the shops provide the basic essentials of life, there's relatively little crime, and as mentioned, there are some lovely slices of nature right on your doorstep.
But as a tourist destination?
Despite the outrage being expressed by the Devonport Council and the Tasmanian Tourism Board, I have to side with the Lonely Planet - you're better off doing what all the other tourists do and turning right once you get off that boat.
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